Thursday, July 6, 2017

Nuances of being a quitter.

It really has been a long time folks. I do not know where to begin. So, I'll just start by saying that i have taken a bold decision to quit cigarettes. You read it right. I have quit cigarettes, but i am obtaining my nicotine via a vaporizer.

I don't really want to take too much time gushing over vaping and how next gen it is. It seems okay so far.  I see it as more of a cessation tool for the time being. However, what i want to gush over, and i mean Niagara falls gush, is the marked change in health that has taken place.

Before, i get carried away in my little type frenzy, i would like to add that it has only been a week down, and that the battle against smoking will be life-long, but the effects of kicking the butt are pronounced! Which only seems to positively boost my determination to never smoke gain. So here are the among the most noticeable changes i have observed since 1'st July 2017:

  • Easy breathing: It had gotten to a point that my posture and balance had started to decline, causing backaches, due to a general level of blockage that was present. Almost a day into it, and i was breathing easy, and that helps with the posture. (Since i do plan on being a bit more disciplined with my blog posts, i will elucidate the significance between breathing and posture and back pain at a later date.) Let me also not fail to mention that i can do day to day activities without huffing and puffing like a geezer. Flights of stairs seem like a cinch!!
  • Sense of taste and smell: This was one of THE MOST important reasons that i decided to quit smoking and want to keep it that way. I had lost my sense of taste and smell to a great degree. Everything required more salt, spice or flavor in general because the senses are dead! No more. I remember having this incredible pasta a la Alfredo made by a friend, just 2 days after stopping. I was BOMBARDED by flavors. A mini food orgasm ensued, and i proceeded to critique that dish MasterChef style. The senses have kept improving, and just now as i type this article out, i can smell the Magnolia flowers down below in the garden. The moist oppressive air giving sweet respite in the form of natural air freshener. It amazes me how much i missed out on these small delights the past couple of years. 
  • Lastly i always seem to find a bit of extra cash lying around in my pocket and wallet. I calculated that at 15 cig/day, with 15 INR/cig i was spending 1575 bucks a week killing myself slowly. That's a whopping 80Grand annually. I can book a return flight to Germany with that kinda dough lying around. What i realized is that on a day to day basis this money seems so trifle. 200 bucks. But that multiplies into a huge fucking number at the end of the year. Heck i fervently hope that a year down the line, i will be making you people jealous with pictures of my trip to Germany. 
So on a very serious note, for those of you looking for a way out, please realize that apart from number crunching and health concerns, please do look into one of the things that's most dear to, that is being ruined because of this habit. Be it food, money, family or fitness. Attach a powerful emotion to your resolution and take that step without thinking too much. You (just as much, I) may suffer relapse(s), or have bad withdrawals, but whatever the obstacle, i feel that it is truly worth sticking with it, to see the light on the other side. Also, feel free to drop a comment in case you feel like taking the step but are hesitant. I could use the occasional boost too! 

Friday, January 4, 2013

Bloody Boxers:

Version:1.0 StartHTML:0000000167 EndHTML:0000004552 StartFragment:0000000449 EndFragment:0000004536

Hello to all you web folk. I have been fighting my own private battle for about a year now. What have you been upto? I hope your answer is "No Good". Let's all welcome me back. (who am i kidding?)
How to prevent boners? Haha. If anybody knew the answer to that, this world would've been a more spacious place. Why am i talking about this awkward topic? 'Coz it gets pretty fucking embarrassing that's why. Here are a couple of instances when i felt like burying my head deep inside my arse and slitting every vein i can find. Mind you, the fat hides most of them.

So here we go; early morning, say about half past five-ish. You have just had a dream about that sweet girl next door you always had a secret crush on. Now, in our schedule, this time is reserved for “Physical Conditioning”, and as a direct consequence, we are expected to muster at the football field, where eventually the late comers get their arse whooped. You walk in a haze, and somehow manage to keep a your eyes open throughout. The girl still spinning around in your head, while you think, “Damn that felt real.” A mad sprint as the gates are about to closed, and you get shaken up, quite literally everywhere. As you stand, in your “squad”, you manage a few winks, and try to relive that dream. Lo, that cutie reappears, and this time its serious. You are about to make sweet love, when the guy in charge of making us run and do push-ups shows up in front of you, and you are rudely snapped out of your reverie. “Why the fuck were you sleeping?”, he asks in his language of choice. Easy does it, all you have to do is make some excuse about late night studies right? Hehe, well, he singles you out in front of everyone, the ladies included, and there you stand, with a massive boner, barely hidden behind those flimsy PT shorts. You try everything, but its as persistent as a tumor. Goodmorning indeed.

Study time. In the class, its 40 degrees outside, with a side order of humidity. However, we the fortunate ones are sitting comfortably in our air conditioned classes. The downside however is that, after the early morning fiasco, and the brutal punishment consisting of push ups, duck walks that you have endured, you tend to doze off. No iffy, till you a get a stiffy that is. There she is again, this time wearing tempting lingerie, her pale white skin burning with the desire to be violated. You make a move towards her, ravenously. Lust oozing out of your eyes, when all of a sudden you feel a tug. SNAP. Your eyes meet with the professor's. The guy who woke you up sniggers. The professor, insulted by this impudence, screams “Stand up!” You get up, but encounter a little hindrance while doing so. By the time you realise what the fuck is going on, the whole class is pointing, smirking and exchanging knowing glances. No point explaining things. “Get out!”, is the command, you fucking obey it.

Lunch time. The stomach never lies. Its desperate groans and rumbles can't be ignored for long. You wait for the bus. The moment it appears over the horizon, there's violent shuffling, and as the bus pull to a stop, a mob has assembled. Dozens of hungry people, desperate to eat their meal. Voila! The cute girl next door you were dreaming about is right next you. Your thoughts start spiraling, heart rate increases, no i am not stoned. Just plain fucking horny. As the crowd grow wild, they pack themselves around the door. Waiting for a chance to pounce into the bus. She is pushed closer to you. Before you know it, and after its too little too late, you watch the expression of disgust/ discomfort on her face, and are enlightened. Your chance comes, and you board the bus. Writhing in agony as you try to stand beside her in a crowded bus. Alas.

When you finally reach your room, all you can do is reach out for a cigarette, say to yourself : “God damn boxers.” and switch on your lap. Time to browse the hidden folders. Cheers!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Happy Fucken New Year!

Been a while hasn't it? Not really, i guess. I shuffle through all the data on my laptop, searching frantically for some wise-ass article i might have written for “New Years”. I do not find it, hence this pathetic attempt to recollect some meaningful event, that took place in the year that passed by with such surprising speed, that even the strongest psychotropic drugs would not have been able to slow it down.

What kind of year was it? Apart from how quickly it passed, it was characterized by me coming to terms with certain truths :

  • Most girls my age sound like “aunties” when you talk to them on the phone when under the influence of cannabis.

  • A gathering of people do not think for themselves once they have turned into a fully developed mob, and they will not think twice before hacking your head off with knives or any sharp object for that matter.

  • Porn is best watched alone.

  • Cigarettes and Goodwill are the currency of the world. Okay, maybe not cigarettes on a larger scale.

  • People (apart from close friends ... even close friends some times) need to be kept constantly under check with harmless banter. Get too nice and they'll be over you like piranhas in the amazon river.

  • If you stop exercising, you will become fat.

  • Do not promise that what you cannot give, but always promise what the other guy thinks you can give, it's safer that way.

  • Psycho girls ... nevermind ...

  • Never try to withstand the bitter cold thinking of a special someone to keep yourself warm. IT DOES NOT WORK. Use a sweater instead.

  • Never try to start a “Fight Club” when you have a room mate who can dead-lift hundreds of Kgs, while simultaneously being trained in martial arts. It hurts like hell and you do not fall sound asleep.

  • Lighters and matches finish as fast as cash in a hostel.

  • Every trance video featuring hot women has a climactic point when you just cant bear it and have to rush urgently to .. you know where.

  • All those who claim to have understood “Inception” the first time ARE either wannabes or total fucking retards. Same goes for all the people who claim to have been “Inception-ed” after the movie. FUCK YOU.

  • Jim Morrison is a LEGEND.

Well, not quite the eventful year one would expect, but hey, i live in a shit-hole, i do the best i can to get by. May your year be full of revelations and may you discover the next solution to drive the human civilization to newfound greatness.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Facing a cliff :

Hello to anyone who might be reading this (whom am i kidding?). My last entry was on April 17'th 2010. It has been 6 months since that day and reading every article is like swallowing a little time capsule. However, today i am not the typical nostalgic guy wondering about things gone by. Today, i am just a tired man. A person lost in a giant wave of thoughts, drowning in problems, and gasping for breath. It seems like just yesterday that i was a jobless person sitting at home pretending to study for some competitive exams, i never wanted to give. A LOT has changed since that. All those people i used to waste time with, they've changed, moved on ... moved far. In a passionate song sung by the legendary Jim Morrison, The End, he begins a new verse, singing : "... lost in a Roman ... wilderness of pain ... " I seems to be lost in it as well, and to be honest, i cannot go on any longer. I am operating at a bare minimum. It's like a Code Red. All hands on deck.

I cannot recall the last time i viewed the entire season of Manchester United play. I can not recall the last time i followed the transfer season. I cannot recall the last new metal song i headbanged to. I cannot recall the last time i saw a new movie. I cannot remember anything good i did. I cannot remember the last time i felt optimistic. I seem to be facing a cliff, pack of wolves on one side, and on the other side an infinite fall to the abyss below.

Its pretty new being this cornered in. Guess i HAVE to figure out a way all by myself.
"... the end of laughter and soft lies ... "

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Trippin' :

Okay, truth be told, i have mixed feelings about my trips. unlike most others, whom i know, who claim to have passive and relaxing trips, mine are not what you'd call a walk in the sunshine.
I switch gears. I become a mad scientist of sorts. i like to record conversations, not only for the fun of it, but for reference purposes. i make observations and continuously evaluate my peers.

despite all that, i mingle with them, i enjoy having hearty laughs, and i love laughing at the weird things others do. I am happy and yet i am tense and uptight. It is an intense experience the magnitude of which i cannot begin to explain.

But then a wise friend of mine said : "to each his own trip", and i leave it at that.

Happy tripping guys and (hopefully) gals.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Exams Over.

My Midsems just concluded, and hence i am back to banging on closed doors. Basically i am bored. A bored retard with no work is a danger to society ain't he? Well, i would like to fancy myself as a wannabe Joker / agent of chaos, BUT TRUTH BE TOLD, I AM JUST A STUPID PRICK.

Cheers. ;)

Monday, March 22, 2010

Fuck You Liverpool :

Yesterday, Liverpool were defeated by two goals to one by Manchester United at Old Trafford.
Here's to all those Liverpool fans out there who were assuming another "league double" over United.
Fuck you, Liverpool. Fuck you scousers, and fuck all those critics.
A well deserved win.
Glory Glory ManUnited ... As the Reds Go Marching ON ON ON !!!