Been a while hasn't it? Not really, i guess. I shuffle through all the data on my laptop, searching frantically for some wise-ass article i might have written for “New Years”. I do not find it, hence this pathetic attempt to recollect some meaningful event, that took place in the year that passed by with such surprising speed, that even the strongest psychotropic drugs would not have been able to slow it down.
What kind of year was it? Apart from how quickly it passed, it was characterized by me coming to terms with certain truths :
Most girls my age sound like “aunties” when you talk to them on the phone when under the influence of cannabis.
A gathering of people do not think for themselves once they have turned into a fully developed mob, and they will not think twice before hacking your head off with knives or any sharp object for that matter.
Porn is best watched alone.
Cigarettes and Goodwill are the currency of the world. Okay, maybe not cigarettes on a larger scale.
People (apart from close friends ... even close friends some times) need to be kept constantly under check with harmless banter. Get too nice and they'll be over you like piranhas in the amazon river.
If you stop exercising, you will become fat.
Do not promise that what you cannot give, but always promise what the other guy thinks you can give, it's safer that way.
Psycho girls ... nevermind ...
Never try to withstand the bitter cold thinking of a special someone to keep yourself warm. IT DOES NOT WORK. Use a sweater instead.
Never try to start a “Fight Club” when you have a room mate who can dead-lift hundreds of Kgs, while simultaneously being trained in martial arts. It hurts like hell and you do not fall sound asleep.
Lighters and matches finish as fast as cash in a hostel.
Every trance video featuring hot women has a climactic point when you just cant bear it and have to rush urgently to .. you know where.
All those who claim to have understood “Inception” the first time ARE either wannabes or total fucking retards. Same goes for all the people who claim to have been “Inception-ed” after the movie. FUCK YOU.
Jim Morrison is a LEGEND.
Well, not quite the eventful year one would expect, but hey, i live in a shit-hole, i do the best i can to get by. May your year be full of revelations and may you discover the next solution to drive the human civilization to newfound greatness.
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