Tales Of A Gutsy Retard

Happy Fucken New Year!

2011-04-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

Been a while hasn't it? Not really, i guess. I shuffle through all the data on my laptop, searching frantically for some wise-ass article i might have written for “New Years”. I do not find it, hence this pathetic attempt to recollect some meaningful event, that took place in the year that passed by with such surprising speed, that even the strongest psychotropic drugs would not have been able to slow it down.

What kind of year was it? Apart from how quickly it passed, it was characterized by me coming to terms with certain truths :

Most girls my age sound like “aunties” when you talk to them on the phone when under the influence of cannabis.
A gathering of people do not think for themselves once they have turned into a fully developed mob, and they will not think twice before hacking your head off with knives or any sharp object for that matter.
Porn is best watched alone.
Cigarettes and Goodwill are the currency of the world. Okay, maybe not cigarettes on a larger scale.
People (apart from close friends ... even close friends some times) need to be kept constantly under check with harmless banter. Get too nice and they'll be over you like piranhas in the amazon river.
If you stop exercising, you will become fat.
Do not promise that what you cannot give, but always promise what the other guy thinks you can give, it's safer that way.
Psycho girls ... nevermind ...
Never try to withstand the bitter cold thinking of a special someone to keep yourself warm. IT DOES NOT WORK. Use a sweater instead.
Never try to start a “Fight Club” when you have a room mate who can dead-lift hundreds of Kgs, while simultaneously being trained in martial arts. It hurts like hell and you do not fall sound asleep.
Lighters and matches finish as fast as cash in a hostel.
Every trance video featuring hot women has a climactic point when you just cant bear it and have to rush urgently to .. you know where.
All those who claim to have understood “Inception” the first time ARE either wannabes or total fucking retards. Same goes for all the people who claim to have been “Inception-ed” after the movie. FUCK YOU.
Jim Morrison is a LEGEND.

Well, not quite the eventful year one would expect, but hey, i live in a shit-hole, i do the best i can to get by. May your year be full of revelations and may you discover the next solution to drive the human civilization to newfound greatness.

Facing a cliff :

2010-10-10T02:08:00.000-07:00

Hello to anyone who might be reading this (whom am i kidding?). My last entry was on April 17'th 2010. It has been 6 months since that day and reading every article is like swallowing a little time capsule. However, today i am not the typical nostalgic guy wondering about things gone by. Today, i am just a tired man. A person lost in a giant wave of thoughts, drowning in problems, and gasping for breath. It seems like just yesterday that i was a jobless person sitting at home pretending to study for some competitive exams, i never wanted to give. A LOT has changed since that. All those people i used to waste time with, they've changed, moved on ... moved far. In a passionate song sung by the legendary Jim Morrison, The End, he begins a new verse, singing : "... lost in a Roman ... wilderness of pain ... " I seems to be lost in it as well, and to be honest, i cannot go on any longer. I am operating at a bare minimum. It's like a Code Red. All hands on deck.

I cannot recall the last time i viewed the entire season of Manchester United play. I can not recall the last time i followed the transfer season. I cannot recall the last new metal song i headbanged to. I cannot recall the last time i saw a new movie. I cannot remember anything good i did. I cannot remember the last time i felt optimistic. I seem to be facing a cliff, pack of wolves on one side, and on the other side an infinite fall to the abyss below.

Its pretty new being this cornered in. Guess i HAVE to figure out a way all by myself.

"... the end of laughter and soft lies ... "

Trippin' :

2010-04-17T23:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, truth be told, i have mixed feelings about my trips. unlike most others, whom i know, who claim to have passive and relaxing trips, mine are not what you'd call a walk in the sunshine.
I switch gears. I become a mad scientist of sorts. i like to record conversations, not only for the fun of it, but for reference purposes. i make observations and continuously evaluate my peers.

despite all that, i mingle with them, i enjoy having hearty laughs, and i love laughing at the weird things others do. I am happy and yet i am tense and uptight. It is an intense experience the magnitude of which i cannot begin to explain.

But then a wise friend of mine said : "to each his own trip", and i leave it at that.

Happy tripping guys and (hopefully) gals.

Exams Over.

2010-04-03T07:40:00.000-07:00

My Midsems just concluded, and hence i am back to banging on closed doors. Basically i am bored. A bored retard with no work is a danger to society ain't he? Well, i would like to fancy myself as a wannabe Joker / agent of chaos, BUT TRUTH BE TOLD, I AM JUST A STUPID PRICK.

Cheers. ;)

Fuck You Liverpool :

2010-03-22T05:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Liverpool were defeated by two goals to one by Manchester United at Old Trafford.
Here's to all those Liverpool fans out there who were assuming another "league double" over United.
Fuck you, Liverpool. Fuck you scousers, and fuck all those critics.
A well deserved win.
Glory Glory ManUnited ... As the Reds Go Marching ON ON ON !!!

Midnight oil :

2010-03-16T12:47:00.000-07:00

It's 1:30 in the morning, and i am thoroughly fatigued. Yet, it amazes my, the will of humans to put up with hardship just to get what they want. In my case : FAST INTERNET.

Cheers, got me some "movies" to download.

Cheers :

2010-03-14T01:37:00.000-08:00

This post is dedicated to my most closest and awesomest friend Rohit P K Saha, who has been informally placed in a shipping giant.

Despite going through shite in his life, and all facing a pedestrian mob alone, he has fought valiantly to get to where he is.

I can only hope of replicating this feat, but as of now, i am happy for him and wish him all the very best in the future.

FUCKED !

2010-03-02T22:31:00.000-08:00

The title is self explanatory really. I lost my iPod, entire 160 GB's of it. I hate myself and want to die.
Cheers.

Oye First Year!!

2010-02-23T03:12:00.000-08:00

My university is the type of place where you wake up in the morning go to the washroom, look at yourself in the mirror , eyes puffing out or caving in and say : "You look like shit man!" Other times you just wanna stretch your arms and shout "motherfucker"!

An average day begins with a sense of hope that today will indeed be an average day. You brush up, take a leak, and then unlike anything that goes on in average hostels, you go off to run 2-3 Kms and do some of them push-ups. You wish that even this goes like just another day, but it never is. there's always someone punished, sometimes yourself, sometimes there's a manhunt for a missing person (probably snuggling in his cozy and warm bed unaware of the cruel punishments awaiting him, then there's always the occasional fainting dude. Just when you think it's all going according to plan, the retarded crowd begins to shout and howl. Frog jump your way on an Olympic sized athletics track. Jesus M. F. Christ.

After that ordeal, you feel like you have been violated. Raped. Off we go to our rooms, take a dump, and then hopefully a bath (I still like to believe in the sense of hygiene of an average college kid). then you are off to college.

Uniforms checked, push-ups (for the gravy stain or the occasional blade of hair surviving the holocaust) done, we begin studies. Teacher after teacher, lecture after lecture, you go on and on, relieved by the lunch break, only to have to haul our arses back for two more lectures in the hot afternoon sun.

class dismissed, school's out. I come back to my room, unlock the door, and shout : "Honey i am home" at the imaginary sex slave i keep locked in there. 1645 Hrs. to 1930 Hrs. is time to kill, use or whatever other defiling and derogatory stuff we are advised to do with it.

That done, it's dinner time soon followed by the muster, the uniform check and all that shit. Again the occasional death threat because of the gravy stain, and then it's bedtime.

Hope ... hope that tomorrow will be just and average day.
Cheers.

Fresh and withered :

2010-02-16T20:40:00.000-08:00

It had been five minutes since since i entered the campus gates that i began to despise the place. As i was unpacking, i smelt something weird, because i recall cleaning my room thoroughly before leaving. Well, it seems my room had been a suitable dining table for a rat. The bugger had entered through the gap in between the room door and the floor, and had brought with it a tasty meal for itself. Yes, i found several feathers flying out from the place. I guessed the obvious. I started looking ion places and then i saw it. Underneath the almirah was a dead sparrow carcass. I took two brooms and shoved it out of my room. The stench disappeared gradually. Then gradually all the people started flooding in at various time intervals. Its not the place that i hate. I love the routine, the PT the fingering at the hands of seniors and the staff alike, but i cannot stand the people here. Some of them are just so annoying it gets to you. So much for rest and relaxation. Squeaky bum time relapse.
Cheers.

New Title New Self

2010-02-11T05:19:00.001-08:00

Been a while since i have updated. But i guess that is the story of my life, its always been a while.
Anyways, here i am all retarded and pervy and all. Please feast your eyes on this mind numbimgly, heartbreakingly silly pic of mine at a beach in Goa and try to be calm and sane.

LIFE @ Tolani

2009-11-28T01:51:00.000-08:00

OUR WORKSHOP & AUXILLARY LAKE

FULL MOON
SLEEPING CLASS

MYSELF

The Leave :

2009-10-31T23:18:00.000-07:00

It's been eight days since that fateful day. On a cold Saturday morning, after physical conditioning and other "requirements" being met with, i was basking in the sun, my back flat against the football field, my feet touching the freshly cut grass. It was divine, almost a mirage. Then out of absolutely nowhere, a hand shook my head; gently at first, and then vigorously. The football field spun out of focus, and i was transported to a classroom. I though i was dreaming about harry potter and the pensive, for the concept of a memory bowl had awed me since the day i heard of it.

Sadly though, i was not harry potter, there was no pensive; instead, there were about fifteen pairs of eyes staring at me, and to my horror, one of those pairs were my program chair's. I had fallen asleep. I stood up, groggily made my way out of the class to face him. Fortunately i was not going down alone, i had compatriots. It's always a welcome sign to have more people, partners in crime. It reminds me of that basic desire for life to seek life.

We were commanded to stand outside his office. "Phew!" i said to my mates. I honestly thought i was getting out of this situation easily. How wrong i was. Our program chair, stepped back in and had pieces of paper with him. We were to write out applications for a weeks leave, because "we could not keep our eyes open in class". So much for my sigh of relief; my breath was sounding more like moans of agony. A weeks class to me is like a timely insulin shot missed by a diabetic on a pastry diet. I'd suffer bad.

We were told to pack our bags and get out; out of the campus, and come back on 3'rd November. We pleaded and pleaded, but he was in a real bad mood. He actually called on security to have us thrown out of the campus, which was highly unnecessary because his loud voice had already scared the shit out of me. We phoned our respective mothers and explained the situation. Then the proctor did the same. For all those who do not know who a proctor is; he is the topmost authority on hostel administration. Even when the mothers of the other two called up, he refused to listen. And so we were sent on a jolly good vacation.

I have taken the lighter side of this comedy, and enjoyed my vacations to the fullest. Sadly though, i will now have to go for extra classes, or stay back till at least 5:30 (right up until the exams) to cover all my missed academics. Jolly good show. Now if you'd excuse me, i have some packing to do.

Cheers.

I see light :

2009-05-16T04:03:00.000-07:00

Finally, all my "exams" are over. How about a slight recap? Yeah that would be just about right.

It starts with IIT JEE, the "mother of all exams". Fuck, whom am i kidding? It is a pathetic excuse of an exam, i dont even know why i gave it. 9:00 am in the morning i was busy getting my arse kicked with questions, that i couldnt even trace to a proper topic. 5:00 pm was when it got over, hell of a lot of time aint it?

Second in line was AIEEE. Now, i want to fore-warn every one, i was prepared for this exam, but some one up there had different plans for me. The centre i got was so close to home, and involved so little travel, that some wise guy decided i get no means of ventilation either. YES, there were no fans in the fucken building. Forget fans, the walls were not even painted. To add to that, we were made to sit two on a bench, a bench fit for a couple of K.G kids. So there it went.

Then came TMISAT. for those who have not heard of it, it is an exam to get into Tolani Maritime Institute, for Marine engineering. Okay, the exam went well, (there were A/Cs in the comp lab), i got 63 on 100, which placed me in the top ten among my batch. Great, but then, someone in the admisnistration had a brainstorm and decided to hold the interview on the same day. Baggy pants, rolled sleeves, spikey hair and a 2 week old beard. So much for "first impression" i thought. Thankfully, the person up there was in a forgiving mood, and i aced it.

Now came CET, the meccah for Maharastra students. Again, what is it with the benches. not even half of my hiney was fitting into the fucking bench. The soreness in my back and shoulders, which haunted me for months, came back. i was finishing physics ( i thought : "hey physics was good") when the admisnistrator said, "ten minutes left". So much for physics was good. i marked all the options in chem as "Cs". i had no confidence in maths and i left out all the ones i didnot get for fear of losing time. Fortunately it went okay.

Now BITS. This exam proved that the human mind works better at cooler temperatures. The centre was same as that for TMISAT. AIR CONDITIONING WOO HOO!! i scored a humble 202 (which if should've got in the similar AIEEE exam, would've meant i aced it). So that's how they were.

Now here i am, sitting with a two ton midriff, and a sense of absolute relief.
United need one more point to win the record breaking 18'th title, out of a possible six. So fuck you Liverpool fans. Tired, off to see some television. Bye now.

Odd Man Out :

2009-03-30T09:26:00.000-07:00

Can you spot the odd man out?

Minutes To Midnight :

2009-03-28T21:23:00.001-07:00

I was reading the morning newspaper today, and i chanced upon a little snippet labelled : Mixed Response to Earth Hour. Now for those of you who are unaware of what "Earth Hour 60" is, let me brief you about it.

Earth hour 60 was an initiative by the people to spread a message regarding the protection of our environment. Every light was supposed to be turned off between a stipulated time of 8:30 pm to 9:30 pm. Moses Pereira, director of World Wildlife Fund, said "People all over the world have come together to send a strong message to our world leaders that the issues of climate change should be treated on priority basis."

Quite a heart melting theme indeed. Will it be helpful in any way? I rather doubt it. When people "all across the world" come together during such events, majority of them just want to be a part of an event, in there otherwise aimless life, so that a few years down the line, when something really is done by the "world leaders", they can bask in the glory of it and have something to talk about. As for the rest, who seem to be "genuinely concerned" about the environment, majority of them will be having Air Conditioners running on full blow, many will be using filament lamps, and several people will be having inverters at their place.

Okay, now how do electric appliances really contribute to climate change? Well, I know for a fact that the MOST conventional source of energy (In India at least) is coal, rather the burning of coal. Which implies that if people use more energy, (which they sure do), they burn more coal. the waste products of the burning of coal are (the now famous) greenhouse gases, lots of hot water and ash. The hot water is let into rivers causing thermal pollution, while the ash ends up in our lungs. To add to that, the Generators themselves are outdated and inefficient.

I have not even touched upon the mad use of cars these days, which certainly affect the climate.

Now, if someone gave a Rat's arse about "climate change" they would become engineers and change the generators, they would sweat out hot nights, they would put their PC(s) on standby when talking on the phone or, switch off the LCD (otherwise the power guzzling CRT) while performing a virus scan or while downloading from the internet, while simultaneously ensuring that the television is not on in the other room.

But apparently, farcical activities such as "Earth Hours" etc. are "the in thing", which leaves me pitying the handful of genuine caring people who are trapped amidst glory hunters trying to leave their mark on proceedings. Have to leave for breakfast.

Cheers.

Broken, Beat and Scarred :

2009-03-21T10:38:00.000-07:00

Manchester United lost two games in a row for first time in 4 years, to a resurgent fulham side. Although, several decisions not going our way, and despite looking the better side in the second half. Second half? Fuck you all who are sympathizing with United fans. It is a fucken great side, and fuck all you Fulham fans, go enjoy your "sweet" victory and then keep battling against relegation in the next season. Bitches, S.O.B(s), Cunts, Dickheads.

Phew, now that the rant is over, lets clear things out. Chelsea have also lost to Tottenham Hotspur and so we await Liverpool to do what they have done best, bottle it. No credit taken away for their victory at Old trafford, yeah they worked hard, after all it takes a lot of strength and determination to open the gift wrappers.
I actually had a mild fever, but it has eased out after the Chelsea defeat. As far as the league is concerned, it all melts down to which team wants to win it the most.
So I am signing off after a crazy evening, hoping fervently that there will be some prick in my colony who will mention tonights match, and whom I can beat the shit out of.
Seek and Destroy Baby. Yeah.

The memories come flooding in:

2008-12-02T11:11:00.000-08:00

Date : 1'st December 2008
This was the date I visited my school (and junior college) after a long time. For most people who just popped in from another school after tenth standard, this would just seem to be a sanitarium, but I beg to differ. I have been in this institution for Six years. That's approximately for one third of my life lived so far. Its too big a phase to ignore.
Walking through the gates again, I actually checked for my identity card. I laughed and then walked on. To my delight, some of my friends from eleventh standard (now twelfth) were playing foot ball with the present 11'Th std. guys. I decided to crash in. Once I was selected in a team, the game resumed. It was a mixture of heaven and hell. Playing on the big ground with all the others, and just getting a touch on the ball felt orgasmic. Although, running down the wing again and putting in the tackles will not seem too difficult a task unless you haven't played for an year, and have to carry and extra five kilos of lard around with you. Hence the term "hell".
I also felt (on a much smaller scale) what a professional football player goes through after being months out with an injury.
On entering the lift, I wasn't too surprised to find the person who had confiscated my iPod two times. Mrs. Ramanujan was, I think, not too pleased to see me, but I would not blame her for that, after all, tolerating us for two years takes patience. I also met our principal. She did seem pleased, but she was always kind to us, forgiving our (what seem now to be) petty offences. We talked on what I was doing currently, and my plans for the future. Wishing me well, she left for her work while I strolled across to the point where my friends and I used to visit, bunking several classes. I sat there listening to my iPod, thinking of the struggle that my life has been (is) for the past two years, feeling the wind in my face, the smell of the trampled grass intoxicating me. Everything melted away, and I was left with a sense of belonging, of existence and of actually being remembered.

Whatever others may say, I will miss the place.

P.S : I will be uploading pictures later on. Cheers to all.

A little while ago:

2008-10-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

Hello. It's been a while since my last post. To say that I have been busier than a bee would be an understatement. Studies, health, yes, it has been hectic. Yesterday though, I got some time free due to a power failure. It was a hot and sultry afternoon, and I had nothing better to do, so I sat in the sunlight, allowing the breeze to caress me gently, soothing me to into a trance. It was one of those absolutely average afternoons during which you tend to feel nostalgic.

Nostalgia is not one of those typical human emotions. In fact, it is an extremely powerful phenomenon in human lives. At times it can be deppressing, and at times an aphrodisiac. Memories, neither good nor bad can escape inclusion.

It was then that I remembered a particularly funny incident, that I remember vividly to date. I was in 6'Th standard, and had just transferred to the school, where I was to remain till completing 17 years of age (I didnot know it, then). I was alone at home because my mother had gone to visit Dad at Hyderabad. Those were the good old days, no power cuts and the global temperatures were lower by a good few degrees. The address bar of my internet explorer read : http://www.cartoonnetworkindia.com/. I had visited the site to play "DragonballZ : Trouble on Namek", and after saving the planet from total anhilation, I was particularly bored. As I browsed, I came across a link titled, "Ask dexter". Now, you see, I was a real geek, and my boyhood hero had been Dexter, "Boy genius", so I took the opportunity to read what all the other kids had written. Some asked whether his parents would find out about his lab, and some asked whether his sister really troubled him so much. I found these questions out of place for a boy who knew so much.

There was a dialougue box provided, where I could register and ask my questions. I registered with the enthusiasm of a child getting a reward after doing something in advance. Finally came the time to ask the question. I typed, slowly, careful not to make any spelling mistakes. This is what I had in my mind: "Dear Dexter, what makes the planets go around the sun? Will they ever stop revolving?" Having rechecked the question, I hit the enter button. After that day, I scoured the site twice a day, for two months. To my utter dismay, several rubbish questions were published, while mine was nowhere to be seen. I was shattered, I had expected a genius of an answer but none came.

I realised it was all a fake. I realised that the site was dedicated to popularising the program, and not really solving any queries. A lesson learnt I said to myself. In a way it kept me from clicking several "Congrats! You are our 1000000'Th visitor. To claim a special prize click here." links. Just another child learning the harsh realities behind his childhood hero.

Busybee :

2008-07-08T10:26:00.000-07:00

Hello to all. I am plainly repeating what my blog title says :

I have taken a drop, and am currently studying for the competitive exams I will be giving next year. Hence, I will be unable to update my blog.

Cheers.

Dutch defeat and all that :

2008-06-22T10:54:00.000-07:00

Today, is a sad day for me. It was one for all those fans clad in orange, supporting the dutch. As most of you know, they played brilliantly and won all three of their group games. Italy, France and Romania were no match for the their All - round football. Sadly though, it was not to be their night on the 22'nd of this month. They were defeated by a resurgent Russian side, led by former Dutch coach Guus Hiddink. It seemed as if the flying Dutchman finally gave way. I do not want to talk anymore about the loss. There are various reasons why the Dutch lost, and no amount of speculation and criticism can stop Holland's sad exit from the Euros. What annoyed me was the incident that followed. As soon as the third goal was scored, I switched off the television, not bearing to watch anymore, and stepped out into the balcony for some fresh air. One of my friend spotted me at this late hour and called me. I was not in any mood to talk, still, politeness is politeness. I picked up the cell, and replied in what seemed to be almost a whisper of a ill man, "Hullo ?" "Hi, what's up?", questioned the voice on the other side. "Nothing, Holland lost the match and I am in no mood to talk.", I said. "Whats the problem? Holland lost why are you sad?" ... That was it, I had no more patience left. "There's something called passion which you might be unaware of.", I said, not really intending to be rude, but the voice chirped on, "Passion for no reason, what is this yaar? Anyways I think ... " I cut the call, the line had really blown a fuse somewhere deep inside. "Passion for no reason" ... I cannot recall ever feeling more insulted in my life.

This sort of behaviour really tick me off. For the past couple of days, I have been viewing may profiles on orkut, and really, it seems as bad as the end of humanity. The "Books" section never fails to amaze me. You see shite stuff like :

"Books, what are they?" "Books, lollllz, not for me." " Books, pllllzzzz" " Books, keep em away!!!!"

It really pains me, to acknowledge the fact that most Indian youth seem to think that not reading a single book, OR pretending to not read any single book is a matter of prestige and makes then "Kewl".

I am left speechless.

Well, it cannot be helped. There are other things to look at and life moves on.

Since the Euros are drawing to a close, we shall see several coaches and players retiring. One of them will be Edwin Van Der Saar. A brilliant goalkeeper, he was included in the 1994 World Cup side, but did not play. His chance came in 1995, and since then He has been in goal for the Dutch team. Sadly though, his international career was to come to an end with a 3 - 1 defeat against Russia. We shall miss you on the Holland games, but its OK, because you still play for Manchester United. To Edwin Van Der Saar, a brilliant keeper, I love you and you will always be my hero.

2008-06-18T02:47:00.000-07:00

Beautiful People

Group C Hara Kiri.

2008-06-17T13:30:00.000-07:00

The Group - C matches have finally come to an end and naturally, I am irritated and utterly dismayed at the result. Not because of a team I supported not making it but because of the sheer lack of quality. Truly the Dutch have been brilliant, but this is about the other two giants of world football : Italy and France. The "World Cup Finalists"

One team faces problems in the form of a demented coach, who is unable to decide upon his strongest starting XI. The other faces a pension problem. None of the veterans seem to be going anywhere. An injured Captain (centre half as well), along with his partner in defense. there is also an overall lack of quality plaguing the team.

It is truly a sad sight. Teams like Portugal, Croatia, Spain, Holland and the Romanians have new young blood coursing through their veins. Sadly, the other seem hell - bent upon playing their veterans (players called out of retirement mind you) while not giving the young guns a chance. Poor Benzema would be distraught if he recollected this tour ever again. On the other hand old Match winners such as Del Piero are placed on the bench, the manager preferring an inexperienced Antonio Cassano.Luca Toni must have squandered as many chances as the hair on his head. Most definitely his brilliant Domestic form has not reflected itslelf in this tournament AS OF NOW.

To make things worse, it gives an opportunity to half - arsed and pathetic wannabe Football Pundits such as this one to rant their heads off :

http://www.ashutoshdeshpande-juve.blogspot.com/

If any team deserved to go through, it was Romania who have, honestly, played some good football and displayed good sportsmanship. The rest o the two deserved , no less fittingly, to be the cause of the other's failure. Domenech needs a kiss from a dementor while Donadoni needs to find a better scout.

Again, a note to all the viewers :

I have nothing against France or Italy going through.

UEFA Euro 2008 :

2008-06-14T17:46:00.001-07:00

Portugal

Holland

It would be a shame if these teams didnot win the Euro 2008. Both sides have played all-round football and both deserve to win. Hence these are my favourites to win the Euro 2008

Vacuum :

2008-06-14T10:48:00.000-07:00

Alas ! I used to consider myself always brimming with new Ideas, but right now, as I sit here to type, I feel drained, empty and hollow. Anything I type just seems to attract an afterthought saying : "No, this article ain't worth publishing." Thus with barrenness, my mind is engulfed and every thought related to "NEW" and "Different" just seems to evade me. Folks, it is under such circumstances that I ask you to have patience. This cruel phase of lack of creativity shall disappear.

Thank you.

European Champions :

2008-05-28T23:38:00.000-07:00

"fucken brilliant...Sir Alex Ferguson does it again..signed NANI and ANDERSON...oh i just cant wait for the next season to start."
This was the message I received from a real close friend of mine at the start of the Barclays Premier League 07 - 08. As it turned out, these two were the late late substitutes who had no experience of a Champions League final penalty shootout, thus the pressure was rested on their young shoulders. Boldly, both of them stepped up to take their spot kicks and dislodged them with fierce accuracy and tremendous composure. It seems just like yesterday, that all of them were up there, holding the trophy triumphantly in there hands, dancing and smiling, but the build up to this event was one roller coaster ride you would love to ride. Having scored in the 26'Th minute, United were leading 1-0 (C. Ronaldo the man who magnificently headed the ball goal wards), but as luck would have it, just before the half time mark, Chelsea drew level with United when Frank Lampard scored, what seemed to be an extremely scruffy goal, as Van Der Saar slipped while trying to close him down. All the exhilaration from the Ronaldo goal had vanished by now, and it seemed as if Chelsea were dominating the proceedings. A beautiful opportunity was created by Patrice Evra in the 11'Th minute of extra time, displaying superb ball control and pace, but it went begging as Ryan Giggs failed to get the ball past "Mister Chelsea" who cleared off the line. Penalties seemed inevitable, when a scuffle broke out for what seemed like failure to return the ball (from Tevez) as it was put out of play. As it so happened , Didier Drogba, lost his nerves and took a nick at Nemanja Vidic, who seemed murderous, but "Mister Chelsea" held him back. Sadly though, Drogba received a Red card for taking a nick at a player right in front of the referee. It was to be decided on penalties. Carlos Tevez stepped up to take the first penalty for United. Calmly he put it past Petr Cech, United 1 - 0 up. Ballack stepped up for Chelsea, and the penalty machine scored (as usual) ... it was now time for Carrick, who seemed to effortlessly put the ball in the back of the net, Belletti scored as well, 2 - 2. As the tension was rising, Cristiano Ronaldo stepped up for the spot-kick. As he kissed the ball and placed it on the spot, it seemed that he would surely score, but, as he moved towards the ball, he paused for a second to disorient Cech, who stood his ground, and as he took the shot, Cech saved. My stomach lurched, it was scary. Up next was Lampard, who scored, chelsea 3 - 2, leading and it was now time for sudden death. All the pressure was on the shoulders of Hargreaves, for if he missed, United would have to face humiliation at the hands of 'chelsea, but fate had different plans, for he dislodged the kick (with a brilliant technique) past Cech to keep United in the match. Most fans had lost their nails by now and there was no signs of a winner. Ashley Cole was next, as kicked the ball, it seemed for a moment that Van Der Saar had got enough of his gloves on it to save, but the ball went past him. 4 - 3 to Chelsea. Heaven overflowed with prayers from millions of Fans worldwide. That was when Nani stepped up, and scored, 4 -4. Solomon Kalou, made up for a mediocre performance by putting the kick past Van der Saar. 5 - 4. The young Brazilian, Anderson stepped up, commentators were muttering about him never having scored, but, he scored, calmly and without hiccups. It now rested on "Mister Chelsea" (John Teary), and as he stepped up, thousands of televisions were on the verge of being switched off (United fans), but he missed, and embarrassingly slipped at the crucial moment. "Yes, C'mon C'mon!!" Ryan Giggs, stepped up, 752 appearances for United, and he was not done yet, he scored past Cech, United were ahead. 6 - 5. It was now on Nicolas Anelka, the man who had played for twelve clubs, to put his experience into it, but as he stepped up, there was no sign of conviction on his face, he seemed to be doing it as a formality. It showed, and he missed. Van der Saar saved, and Cristiano Ronaldo was flat on the ground, his back to the sky, I was shouting at the top of my voice, millions were, its at moments like these when the word "One United" really makes sense. Fuck you Chelsea, and fuck all those glory hunters who thought Sir Alex Ferguson was "Scottish piece of shit". Chelsea will always remain second best ... United are the Champions of Europe again ...

Regrettable Act Of Desperation :

2008-05-18T10:54:00.000-07:00

It was a fine Sunday morning today, and as my studies for the next year have already begun, I solved a pile of "mole concept" sums. Sadly, though, I could not carry on the impressive form for more than two hours. As I took a break, I switched on the television (since my internet was not working) to find something worth watching. Nothing. Nothing in the sports category, no movie, not even a decent cartoon! ... and, so, I committed an act of desperation, I decided to watch The Cheetah Girls on T.V. I do know that most of my friends will label me gay on reading this, but considering such unthinkable circumstances, a mistake had to be committed ... but looking at the brighter side, my patience was tested, and I solved more than 45 numericals keeping the movie in the background.

Bhajji - Sreesanth, Whack! ... Give us a break!

2008-05-09T07:51:00.000-07:00

Since the past week, if not for my maths tutor, the only other thing that is really getting me irritated is the whole "Bhajji-Sreesanth drama". I am not really angry about the "veteran slapping the insolent young fool" incident. The unnecessary hype and controversy that it is receiving is what really ticks me off. Fine, a prat with no much experience said something in the heat of the moment, and the senior player did not take it sportingly, fine, give them the punishments and move on damn it. People are behaving as if the topic will lead to the 3'rd World War, news channels debating it out at least in 6 shows out of nine. Give me a break, even women's hockey has irrelevant spats, for fuck's sake! To makes things worse, the BCCI is unable to decide on the term of the ban that the players will receive, because it seems that this sort of incident is new in cricket (Gentleman's game it is ...)!
Grow up, that's all I can say of what the masses should be doing, and give it a rest, let the authorities decide, not amateurs who voice their opinions in this fashion : I think that - mereko lagta hai ki bhajji ka jyaada ho gaya hai ... he should get year ban.

Coverflow : As Good As It Looks?

2008-05-04T02:25:00.000-07:00

The Coverflow software is indeed an aesthetically pleasing sight, IF you have all the album art organized. What if its not? In that case, brace yourself for torture. It transforms into one of the most tiresome piece of software invented. Firstly, Apple inc. is so desperate for profits that unless you have an iTunes store account (i.e without revealing your credit card number) you cannot automatically download and update your data. Not only is it cumbersome to manually download, save and then apply album art to your library, it is also temporary. The moment you update your iTunes version, there is Hara Kiri amidst your album art. Cradle of Filth - Blink 182, Metallica - Yellowcard, these are among the few such mix ups. The album art seems to go haywire, and again the daunting task of updating the album art begins. It is manageable for small libraries of up to 8 GB, but the thought of a 160 GB library sends ice-sickles down my spine. At the end of the day (day is an understatement), after all the effort, you look at your iPOD or iPhone and think was it worth all that? I fail to receive any positive answer. Many changes drastic ones, not minor tweaks mind you) need to be made to the coverflow if it is to live up to the hype to which it is subjected. IT NEEDS TO BE MADE USER-FRIENDLY!!!

A Stench Of Nostalgia:

2008-05-01T22:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, as I emptied all the rubbish in my closet, I found notebooks, chits and half used diaries. In each was a memory of the time I wasted along with my friends, back in the eleventh grade. It was like a flashback in the bollywood movies of the 90's. Vivid scenes flashed past, I remembered all the stupid things I did. That night, as I lay in bed, I tried listening to Linkin Park, and I drifted into a dreamworld again, I was reminded of the many mistakes I committed, the first was to commit myself. In all the chaos, cute puppy-dog eyes flashed past me, and then suddenly a lumpy forehead which transformed into a biology textbook. I was reminded of a failed IIT campaign, all my failures in school danced around me, enjoying every one of my horror filled expressions. My sweet dream was turning into a nightmare, I woke up, cold perspiration on my forehead ... "That was fucken hell!", I said to myself. Nonetheless, I was tired, I changed the song to "One" and then I let sleep fondle me, gently resting my tired sinews. As I entered sound sleep only one thought kept flashing in my mind :
"Nothing like Metallica to wash the shit out ... "

A tribute to the falling locks :

2008-04-21T00:59:00.000-07:00

Today I have got my hair cut and my precious locks have been sized down. Alas, I will miss you, unkempt hair. When shall I ever again twirl them in anxiety, when again shall I rip you in when I am angry, when, I ask, will I again be able to mess you up? When ...

Technopoly :

2008-04-20T10:52:00.000-07:00

1:30 A.M, In a research laboratory in the middle of nowhere :
Chief Scientist : It lives! It lives!
Suddenly, a gas leaks out and the chief is killed (toxic fumes is the post mortem verdict)

Outside the facility, In an air conditioned cabin, a telephone rings,
Blonde man : Hello?

Caller : Uncle Sam here.

Blonde man : Please spare me a minute Sir, I'll be right back.
(Shoos away his blonde and voluptuous secretary)
Yes Sir, I am glad to inform you that the gadget worked, sadly though, a toxic gas was released and the chief passed away.

Uncle Sam : Hmmm, we'll have a compensation handed to his family and a silver medal.

Blonde man : So Sir, do we or don't we ... ...

Uncle Sam : there's no question. It will have to be released. We have to recover the cost of research and make profit as well.

Blonde man : Okay sir, I'll arrange for a news conference ...

Uncle Sam : Good, and I'll arrange one for myself at Geneva.

Blonde man : Goodnight Sir.

GENEVA , A G8 Summit :
Sam : We have to release the technology somewhere.

Rest of the 7 : Yes, ... but the fumes?

Sam : Don't worry, the forests will handle them.

R. O. 7 : Alright.

In the not so developed countries, people were chatting among themselves :

"Have you heard about the new technology?"
"Yes, it will do wonders here, I will buy myself one."
"You are so lucky, you have the money, I wish I had too!"
"Don't worry, loans will be available with 0% down payment"
"What? I must get myself one too in that case."

A few months later :
"Damn that god-forsaken gadget. It left my family blind. Now I can not even repay my debts... "

Meanwhile in the research lab :
Chief 2 : It lives! It's alive !!
(No gas is released, no deaths occur. The gadget is labelled "Environmentally Friendly")

Outside the facility :
Blonde man : better hurry up and get out before Sam calls.

Blonde secretary : Sure, but I want a pay hike for my services.

Blonde man : Okay now fuck off, ... ... Hello? ... yes Sir, this time it worked.

Sam : Sweet niblets! have a Nobel prize arranged for that gimp number 2. Now I want absolute privacy regarding this. No news conferences no no leaks and glimpses.

B m : Yes Sir, you can count on me.

Sam : 2 months and the new product will be available in the States only.

B m : Excellent sir, goodnight.

Sam : Good night and get yourself a new apartment, you have a raise.

At that very moment at Sam's office, the phone rings :
Sam : Yes?

Caller : Golden Gates here, are you through?

Sam : Oh yes, its finished.

G.G : I want that technology for my Micro-fuck doorbell O.S hardware, I hope we have a deal?

Sam : I have myself re-elected and we have a deal. So, when do we release it in the East?

G.G : Let them ask for it, I am sure they will (Evil Laugh)

Sam : Haha, after all its monopoly ...

G.G : No, you fucktard, that's a Funskool product. This is technopoly.

A Teenager's Thoughts On Death and Rebirth ...

2008-04-12T01:36:00.000-07:00

Death and Rebirth are terms often abused, the concept itself has often been poked fun at by the bollywood directors. Films like Karan-Arjun, the famous Om Shanti Om and many others have depicted the rebirth of the protagonist after being savagely slaughtered by some evil character, and how they eventually find revenge. Apart from this type of superficial knowledge what else do we know about pre-death, death and post death?
Death as defined by certain religions is the process of the soul leaving the material world and fusing with its creator.
Science has provided with an even more complex definition:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death

Why do we know so little about it ? After all it is he only guaranteed event in an individuals life and the only one that is sure to happen in this otherwise unpredictable world, yet it remains shrouded in mystery.
What makes me most curious is the pre- and post- death scenario. What does the person think about, does he introspect and scrutinize his life or is he simply blank? Can he comprehend the events in his vicinity? These questions have always fascinated me. It is not the circumstances that make me feel so, it is the fact that these last minute thoughts can never really be articulately recorded. Neither in writing nor in the form of speech. Thus they remain as the person's deepest secret. These questions can never be answered, we have no choice but to make calculative guesses.
Now for the post- death scenario. Rebirth has often been a topic very highly debated among wise and mature individuals. Yet its viability remains unknown. A few scientists have researched cases concerning an a person absolutely unconnected to a particular family but can instantaneously connect with them and give an accurate description of how a member of their family died (decades ago). The scientists claim that when the member of the family died, he/she was reborn as a different person in a different family, on seeing objects and people familiar to the person in his past life, he could recognize his past. Yet some people refuse to accept the existence of any such phenomenon.

Honestly, these are things far too complex for me to comprehend, but I sincerely hope that if not anyone else, at least I myself should get the answers regarding my own death. This is a request, a request, I hope has been heard by the Divine ...

Finding Hope in Despair.

2008-04-10T23:05:00.000-07:00

Hey! You are lucky ,

you got a break when life looked lame,

a marvelous feat indeed,

a ray of hope, when in dire need ?...

everyone has it ...(the ray of hope..)

but not me,

how much i want it badly,

but i can't have it sadly,

life's decided to be unfair with me,

at first i thought fuck it let it be,

but with many years to come,

i have given up,sadness my love, and dread my home,

i struggle to get out of this mess,

everybody has got tired of repeating the word hopeless,

Struggling for breath,

Getting cosier with death,

and with death by my side i'd elope,

dan to have a mind hurling accusations, give me hope,

at this very moment, I pray,

if these are the things to come, then put me to eternal sleep I say,

coz, at the sharp edges of sanity,

nobody spares a thought for anything, not even a profanity,

lifes tough out here,

to live in constant fear,

to live with the mistakes of the past,

to think that the next will be my last,

I want someone to join me in this world,

but the only things here are misery and cold,

This is not the fate for which i had opted,

my life's game is over, i am busted............

Studying :

2008-04-10T22:35:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,
Unlike all of you, I am unfamiliar with the world of studying. As vague and stupid as it sounds, it is true, for you see, I am not the the type of person to start competing for marks. Aloof would be a right term to describe my attitude towards studies. Even now, in the midst of the so called "Competitive Exams", I am least bothered about them. Around me I see people enveloping themselves, in cocoons, probably expecting a metamorphosis. Whatever may it be, it certainly does not work with me. Ripping the TV cable out, slashing the Internet wire and sending my SIM card on an exile never helped me. Before you mistake me to be a liberal - minded arsehole, let me make it clear that certain restrictions do help but in no way are they close to the one's I mentioned above (cutting down on that might last slice of pizza might help you concentrate more as it gives you less gas). Even some of my close friends seem to have absconded (yeah that's the apt word) and fled the universe! I hardly see them.

Then comes another aspect which I am bad at and that is, "not allowing your rival to succeed". honestly I don't even have any rival, and even if I did, I do not believe in telling the person that I am not giving a particular examination and then giving the exam without anybody knowing. What's the point of giving an exam in such a secretive manner? Another turn-off are petty liars, those who withhold notes, important information and refuse to help you during a time of need. This breed of people really tick me off, because they behave in an all-together different manner during exams. they just suddenly change!

The final problem I face is that I always find better things to do, activities ranging from taking a walk to updating my music library. It might seem that I do not have my priorities set, but really that's not the case. It simple, I cannot sit in a place for more than 4 hours. Not only does my posterior ache, but my brain does to, restlessness builds up within and well, sitting even 5 hours more would yield one tenth the amount in terms of useful work.
Thus it sums up my state. Thank you for bearing with me.

Cheers.

Misinterpretations :

2008-04-05T23:16:00.000-07:00

I have always tried my level best to be an honest and frank fellow. If I don't like your shirt, I don't like it, and I will tell you that. It has often got me into trouble, for you see, the brusqueness with which I have said things has been absolutely misjudged. I do not really derive any pleasure from being rude, but I always have my own crude sense of justice. I know when a situation is not proceeding as it should be, and I always try to make things right and maybe its this trait that has led me to have more enemies than friends. They say you cannot have it all, but I do not remain contended at that, my values and my own mind forces me to think differently and more often that required, dangerously. It has been the story for years, my opinions, to others, have always seemed as viable as the ravings of a drunkard. It does make me sad, but I know that I can not change what the world thinks of me, so I have stopped trying, although, my lack of manners stay. You may still call me uncultured for that, but my arrogance and rudeness are my Achilles heel, how much ever trouble they land me in, they still manage to keep a few bullshitters at bay, and I value them solely for that purpose. I have learnt my lessons from my past mistakes, and I just hope, I do not get so cornered as to repeat these mistakes again ...

On leaving the school ...

2008-04-04T00:49:00.000-07:00

This is my first post, hence my attempt to make it the least controversial.
I have been in this instition for 6 years. I joined in as a 6'th grader, and have now gone on to become a 12'th grader on the verge of graduating. I had my fun times and my sad days as well. Sixth standard was the first time I failed in maths (wouldn't be the last time though) ... and ever since, there have been many "hiccups" on my way. But having reached elevanth, I felt all of these "hiccups" would vanish. They just became more frequent. I realised that the world was not all that a perky place to live, every second person seems to be a parasite, and just wanting to cling on to you. These two years have honestly no suitable description other than "NIGHTMARE". It was also what I would call a learing curve for me. An easygoing funloving and bigmouthed arse like me was never fit to be in this world, I have had my differences with people and I have had to pay dearly for my brusqueness. It has been a really dificult and arduous journey, but one worth the toil. The lessons I learnt here are in no way comparable in magnitude to "gravitation" "ketones" and "calculus", they are far far important, and in a way, it is these lessons that are going to help me move ahead in life. Wishing all my friends viewing this,goodluck in their lives.
Cheers.